Personal Reflection

Dated: 28 dec 2007
Time : 12:26am

Im sick of my life......

It seems only through here is where i voice myself...

jus a moment ago i was thinkin if its my fault tat all this haf to happen. call me sentimental for all u wan. truth is, i reali m. i dun deny myself. it always happens when im on de same bus ride home everynight, under de same conditions, musics affects a person's mood? i wonder.....

U reap wat u sow. is tat always true? well apparently it doesnt to me.

Money... izzit truely impt to an extend wher it changes one personality to a point wher efforts are to be dismissed wifout recognition.

And there i was, always trying to keep up wif de trend wif pathetic abilities.
I feel inferior. i reali do.. i felt stupid. when all tat ive done is to be condone as hypocrcy.
Such a shallow person like yourself, feels de outside condamns the inside. never judge the book by its cover, u sure knw how to use it reali well..

My family. always troubled wif finacial problems. though they dun reali mention it to me, but somehow, i managed to comprehend them afterall.. the feelin of inferiority.. can u imagine it? seeing something u wan but cant get it. saving like shit jus for somethin others would probably haf gotten it easily, starving for your beloved accessories? though materialism seems impossible for me.. im stil a human wif significant desires, is tat wrong to occasionally pamper myself? not to the extend of lavish spendings, much less an extravagant shoppin spree.

I dun blame them.. i blame myself.. its not their fault.. its mine.
mani atimes i jus hope time would go bak, where i would put certain things right.. certain things i've done wrong.
i miss my sec schol. times wif my frens. de days of hopes at least, its where i was moulded into who i m. NOW, seems so foreign to me. i prefer de PAST.

who could haf understood wat i've written, my pain, the uncomparable childhood which im ashamed to bring up..

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